lastone?maybe......

well, i think the goal of feeling awesome for the day has been achieved. i've been down the last few days and the combination of really nice weather, playing chamber music on my trombone with other good musicians, throwing a frisbee around with ryan and phil, and riding my bike has managed bring my moral back up where it needs to be. i think now i'll put on some good music and pick up around the apartment. living in a clean place will help me feel better about myself too.

in other news, i'm toying with the idea of giving up this blog. ::gasp:: i think it's just too easy to say sh*t publicly that shouldn't be said. i know we all have that problem a little bit with our blogs. that's why they're so interesting right? yeah, maybe interesting, but worth the trouble? i don't know. probably not for this guy. personally, i feel like we should have the right to write anything we friggen feel like writing. i'm not here to stop anyone from doing that. that would be completely lame. you can write about how you love osama or killing bunnies and i'm not going to get mad at you for writing it. as long as i'm not being forced to read it, why should i get upset? i'm a big kid and i can choose not to read it, so write on brothas and sistas, write on. write about me for all i care. tell the world i smell like bunny poop. that might be funny. but i figure, if you tell the world that i smell bad, you just make yourself look like a tool. you'd better shower a lot to say such a thing.

i guess i'm just unsure whether or not i can control myself when i REALLY want to say stuff but know this isn't the place. self-control and discipline are usually really easy for me. but when stress is mixed in, dammit it's hard. why do i have to be human. life as a robot would be so much easier. i think i can do it though. you're all gonna have to hold me accountable if i continue to put my thoughts here. don't let me say personal sh*t that i shouldn't say here okay? deal?

sweet.

love,
james"iknowiknow,istilloweyouaduckstory"yardley