Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
i like my burgers medium well please
ok, it's time for a good ol' fashioned rant. i just got back from my 8am music history class and i got a few words to say about the behavior of some of my peers at this "prestigous" university.
1. turn off your friggen cell phones! you're a graduate student right? you want to be here, studying what you love and so do the people around you right? so turn the damn thing off. and maybe, just maybe, if some other unfortunate person's cell phone happens to ring before yours does, maybe double check to make sure that yours is off so that you don't become douchebag numero dos. oh yeah, and if two cell phones go off before yours does, and then yours rings, well, guess what, you're an idiot and deserve to be pantsed in front of the entire class. one last thing before i move on, if your ring happens to be 'when the saints go marching in' please refrain from being a tool and saying 'it's jesus calling' jesus wouldn't call you at 8am while you're in your music history class. he's smarter than that. you're not, but jesus is. he would 'want' you to turn your %)(*@)#( cell phone off.
2. maybe the last class before an exam isn't the best time to be doing crossword puzzles. no, i can think of a better time to figure out what 3 across is. here's a hint; it probably has nothing to do with machaut or motets. don't worry though, i'm sure you'll do great on the test.
honestly, the tromone players here kick my ass, but the people in these classes are nothing short of priceless. it's worse than high school. i just hope they have their spatulas ready...
1. turn off your friggen cell phones! you're a graduate student right? you want to be here, studying what you love and so do the people around you right? so turn the damn thing off. and maybe, just maybe, if some other unfortunate person's cell phone happens to ring before yours does, maybe double check to make sure that yours is off so that you don't become douchebag numero dos. oh yeah, and if two cell phones go off before yours does, and then yours rings, well, guess what, you're an idiot and deserve to be pantsed in front of the entire class. one last thing before i move on, if your ring happens to be 'when the saints go marching in' please refrain from being a tool and saying 'it's jesus calling' jesus wouldn't call you at 8am while you're in your music history class. he's smarter than that. you're not, but jesus is. he would 'want' you to turn your %)(*@)#( cell phone off.
2. maybe the last class before an exam isn't the best time to be doing crossword puzzles. no, i can think of a better time to figure out what 3 across is. here's a hint; it probably has nothing to do with machaut or motets. don't worry though, i'm sure you'll do great on the test.
honestly, the tromone players here kick my ass, but the people in these classes are nothing short of priceless. it's worse than high school. i just hope they have their spatulas ready...
Friday, September 08, 2006
i gotta admit
i'm pretty impressed that anyone still reads this. after that long of a haitus (sp?), i was sure no one would be back. makes me realize how lucky i am to have friends that genuinely care...
k, sorry bout that, didn't mean to get all touchy feely on ya (leave it alone andrei...)
so here's a quick update;
all the trombone stuff is working itself out. i'm being patient with it and it's starting to pay off. one of the things i'm doing is playing a lot of air trombone where i just blow air through the horn instead of playing actual notes. so if something isn't working, i use all the right positions and articulation but instead of tone it's all air. i guess it just teaches my body how easy it should feel when i actually play. so then when i go to actually play the passage, my body seems to remember some of what i just taught it to do. yeah, it sounds silly but i'm writing about it because maybe someday i can come back and read this when things get funky again.
trombone stuff aside i'm doing well. i miss eau claire and all my friends and family but i'm slowing starting to meet new people and feel at home here. ultimate frisbee is helping with that side of things. i've been uber disciplined with my diet and working out, with the exception of going to qdoba too often with colin. we can't help it, it's just too good. i think we might have to sign up for their "frequent biter" card...
well, that's all i have time for right now. frisbee is starting...
take care,
james
k, sorry bout that, didn't mean to get all touchy feely on ya (leave it alone andrei...)
so here's a quick update;
all the trombone stuff is working itself out. i'm being patient with it and it's starting to pay off. one of the things i'm doing is playing a lot of air trombone where i just blow air through the horn instead of playing actual notes. so if something isn't working, i use all the right positions and articulation but instead of tone it's all air. i guess it just teaches my body how easy it should feel when i actually play. so then when i go to actually play the passage, my body seems to remember some of what i just taught it to do. yeah, it sounds silly but i'm writing about it because maybe someday i can come back and read this when things get funky again.
trombone stuff aside i'm doing well. i miss eau claire and all my friends and family but i'm slowing starting to meet new people and feel at home here. ultimate frisbee is helping with that side of things. i've been uber disciplined with my diet and working out, with the exception of going to qdoba too often with colin. we can't help it, it's just too good. i think we might have to sign up for their "frequent biter" card...
well, that's all i have time for right now. frisbee is starting...
take care,
james
Monday, September 04, 2006
a tough lesson
well, i'm half way hoping that no one reads this anymore, but if someone happens to stumble across this post, it won't be the end of the world. i had a difficult trombone lesson today and just need to put some thoughts down. i don't currently keep a journal (maybe i should :-)) and i just need a quick place to put some thoughts down, so here they are.
like i said, i had a tough time in my lesson today. the specifics of the techniques i was struggling with aren't necessarily important. to sum it up, though, my high range sucks and i'm having difficulty controlling tension. i think it's mostly in my throat and neck. but, like i said, that's not really the important stuff.
what's important is the way i was feeling during the lesson (and afterwards) and the awful thoughts that were running through my head. i typically don't allow such thoughts to ever enter my brain, but today it was more difficult than usual.
i had this thought that i don't deserve to be here and i don't deserve the scholarship i'm on. i also felt like i didn't earn the placement that i got for ensembles this semester. being a bass trombone player (or even a trombone player in general) i've been fortunate to be afforded playing opportunities that are above my head, for the sole reason that there is no one else around to cover the parts. i'm starting to realize that it's all been a double edged sword. i've gotten better because of those opportunities, but i'm now in a spot where i skipped some very crucial steps along the way (atleast i'm feeling like i have at the current moment). it's not a good feeling to think that i can't perform a basic technique while beginning my masters degree.
another awful thought that entered my brain today is that i've just been fooling myself and everyone else with this whole becoming a professional musician thing. this is the thought that hurt the most. it's the idea that everyone thinks i'm so good (not that people think that or should think that but you know what i mean) when i intamitely know that i'm not. when someone pays me a compliment about my playing, most of the time i feel like i've gotten away with something. like i just fooled them or even lied to them. i know sometimes i even lie to myself just to get over my frustration. i also do this because telling myself i suck doesn't do me any good.
what i'm starting to realize is that i can't lie to myself about my problems, but i need to find a way to be honest with myself about them without being negative. i wonder if i can admit that i have a problem and be happy to have that problem to work on...
my other method to deal with this comes from my teacher. he reminded me that i need to be a happy, peaceful, patient, and tenacious person. being unhappy and getting down on myself won't make this go away or make it any easier. basically what i need to do is not let my trombone playing control my overall mood for the day. that's a hard thing to do when i'm so attached to my playing. after my lesson today i walked home listening to some relaxing music and then when i got there i just laid down on my bed and fell asleep with no alarm. now it's 8pm (haha, my lesson was at 1:30) and i'm feeling ready to give it a go again.
ok, well, i really hope i didn't subject anyone to such a lame post, but to be fair, you were warned at the beginning. not sure if there will be any future posts, but we'll see. if i'm able to get over this rather quickly i may post a lil follow up with what i did...but i don't think this is gonna be one of those things i can fix quickly.
here's to not being discouraged,
james
like i said, i had a tough time in my lesson today. the specifics of the techniques i was struggling with aren't necessarily important. to sum it up, though, my high range sucks and i'm having difficulty controlling tension. i think it's mostly in my throat and neck. but, like i said, that's not really the important stuff.
what's important is the way i was feeling during the lesson (and afterwards) and the awful thoughts that were running through my head. i typically don't allow such thoughts to ever enter my brain, but today it was more difficult than usual.
i had this thought that i don't deserve to be here and i don't deserve the scholarship i'm on. i also felt like i didn't earn the placement that i got for ensembles this semester. being a bass trombone player (or even a trombone player in general) i've been fortunate to be afforded playing opportunities that are above my head, for the sole reason that there is no one else around to cover the parts. i'm starting to realize that it's all been a double edged sword. i've gotten better because of those opportunities, but i'm now in a spot where i skipped some very crucial steps along the way (atleast i'm feeling like i have at the current moment). it's not a good feeling to think that i can't perform a basic technique while beginning my masters degree.
another awful thought that entered my brain today is that i've just been fooling myself and everyone else with this whole becoming a professional musician thing. this is the thought that hurt the most. it's the idea that everyone thinks i'm so good (not that people think that or should think that but you know what i mean) when i intamitely know that i'm not. when someone pays me a compliment about my playing, most of the time i feel like i've gotten away with something. like i just fooled them or even lied to them. i know sometimes i even lie to myself just to get over my frustration. i also do this because telling myself i suck doesn't do me any good.
what i'm starting to realize is that i can't lie to myself about my problems, but i need to find a way to be honest with myself about them without being negative. i wonder if i can admit that i have a problem and be happy to have that problem to work on...
my other method to deal with this comes from my teacher. he reminded me that i need to be a happy, peaceful, patient, and tenacious person. being unhappy and getting down on myself won't make this go away or make it any easier. basically what i need to do is not let my trombone playing control my overall mood for the day. that's a hard thing to do when i'm so attached to my playing. after my lesson today i walked home listening to some relaxing music and then when i got there i just laid down on my bed and fell asleep with no alarm. now it's 8pm (haha, my lesson was at 1:30) and i'm feeling ready to give it a go again.
ok, well, i really hope i didn't subject anyone to such a lame post, but to be fair, you were warned at the beginning. not sure if there will be any future posts, but we'll see. if i'm able to get over this rather quickly i may post a lil follow up with what i did...but i don't think this is gonna be one of those things i can fix quickly.
here's to not being discouraged,
james
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